Dare I call you “my friend” and not know the first thing about you other than you hate yourself and punish yourself because of the hate? I dare!

What I won’t “DARE TO DO” is presume that I know how you feel and why you feel the way you do.

My name is Mike Taylor and I am a seasonal contributor to this site.

I have a few rhetorical questions for you. First, how did you find us here at TakeBackYourTemple.com?

Secondly, why did you take the time to respond when there are so many sites like this one speaking and doing the same thing?

Finally, are you on a mission to search out these type of sites to confront them for being presumptuous and offensive to you?

We are not here to offend you or anyone else and again I won’t presume to know how you feel or what offend you the most. HOWEVER,………….if I were to guess, my guess would be that you don’t like the way you are and would like for someone, ANYONE to give you a reason for hope. My guess is that you are crying for help internally and in the form of contrary.

Now, now; before you throw a rotten tomato at your monitor and start cussin’ about now, just take a deep breath and read on; if it’s painful to read, please endure it for the moment because I can indeed tell that you have endured a lot of pain in just those few lines you’ve typed.

Now friend, let’s consider for a moment what is causing you so much pain “INSIDE”; we know it’s inside and very painful for you because you have suggested cutting yourself externally with a razor to divert your attention from the pain inside (your words – not mine).

If you are obese, how do you really feel about that? Do you hate yourself because you are obese? If so, is it because of seemingly or open rejection from friends, family and the public?

If you believe your are unattractive in the physical, is it because of the same reason in the above paragraph?

If there is no mate in your life; does that make you cry at night?

If your friends are limited, does that make you bitter?

If you are between jobs, does that bring on high levels of anxiety?

I suspect that the answer to some of all of the above questions are in the affirmative and all are internal conditions; conditions that can’t easily be dealt with in the physical.

Think about it, you can’t bust everyone in the face that rejects you even though it would make you feel GREAT for the moment.

You can’t make people love you or be your friend! Work is rather hard to find in this stressed economy “Worldwide”!

BUT EVEN SO, SOMEBODY GOT TO PAY FOR YOUR DISCOMFORT and you seem to think that someone must be you because you are the most vulnerable person you know as your family, friend and certainly foe will not take any abuse from you.

With that being said why should you take abuse from yourself in any form? We will take God out of the midst “BUT FOR A MOMENT because if you don’t believe in him or that he even cares for you in the midst of what you are going through is a moot point for both of us at this time but not a waste of my time in the least. (I have taken the time to respond because I do feel your pain these many miles away.)

I have contemplated suicide during my late teen years because I was a very lonely young man and felt that I was useless in this world. I felt UGLY in uppercase letters. It’s ironic because I was just telling my wife yesterday about an old acquaintance who was considered a lady’s dream and how he would always want me to hang out with him so that the women would contrast him against me. What I didn’t tell my wife is that he actually slipped and told me that!

Here is how that conversation went as I recollect again (now funny but painful back then). We were both on the same job and he wanted to take a walk at lunch time on this fine sunny summer day. At first I wasn’t going to go because I wanted to eat my lunch but he insisted so I went.

He was really thin and had one of those big blowout Afro’s of the 70′s. His skin was creamy smooth and he had that high yellow complexion as oppose to my dark colored skin and nappy hair.

We walked the first block and the women had “NO SHAME” in flirting with him with their eyes and even approaching him in conversation; and things weren’t quite as liberal for women as they are today and that didn’t stop them. He even mange to get about three phone numbers on our walk; I was in awe.

Now here we go! I said “Man Greg!” “The girls are coming up and onto you like flies and not one of them even knew I was here”. I said that with enthusiasm and as a compliment to my friend. He in turned chuckled and said “Yeah I know, that’s why I wanted you to walk with me as contrast”. His words faded at the end as he suddenly realized what he was actually saying, then he chuckled again and tried to make it seem like he was joking but I knew he wasn’t and now it does make me feel a little sad to remember that because I also remember another friend named Rob doing the exact same thing with the same response but he in my opinion was “Butt Ugly” compared to me I thought and yet there were the women clamoring onto him; how do you think I felt and what was going on in my mind?

But enough about me and that got me away from your pain for the moment and probably did the same for you as you thought within “what a poor sap!”

Eventually, God was introduced into my life and it took faith for me to believe in him when everything around me seemed so wrong because what I thought I knew I later discovered that I knew absolutely nothing. Because I decided to cut myself some slack (no, not cut me) and extend trust in God, he began to reveal himself to me in many mightily ways. I now realize that I was simply a diamond in the rough back then and soon were turning women heads towards me even as a married man but I won’t fall into that trap because I know the enemy wants to destroy me and see me DEAD physically because I have so much to offer God’s people which the enemy hates.

I realize you said you are not God’s child which is the same as a person in the natural saying their absentee dad whom they have never seen is not their dad even though he planted the seed that conceived them; the difference is that God truly cares where the absentee dad does not.

God is not absent in your life and I suspect you didn’t come across our site by happenstance. We shall continue to do what we do here but I will ask this one favor from you as painful as it may be to you I am asking that you grant me; a stranger this one request.

Sometime shortly after you read this post, say: “God, I don’t understand what is going on in my life or why things are the way they are. I don’t even think I believe that you even exist because my life is miserable in my own eyes; for I cut myself. However, if you are who you say you are, please reveal yourself to me in some way so that I can believe and can have hope that I can live peaceably within myself”.

Now my friend God said in his Word that you must first believe. I am confident that even in your unbelieving state, if you will repeat the above words out loud in the privacy of your own home and mean it; God will miraculously reveal himself to you in some way that only “YOU” will know it. It will scare you and make you very happy at the same time. You will experience peace that you have never felt since the time you were born. AT THAT TIME; you will then have a decision to make which is to now believe in God and trust him no matter what, for his plans are to do you good and no hurt or you can reject him and continue to experience the pain of the razor while trying to hide or mask the pain inside which will indeed lead to your natural destruction and at that point EVERYTHING will become clear but it won’t matter my friend.

Do me this one favor please, as I am confident you will be doing yourself a favor as well!

I truly am rooting for you (smiles always)!

I have more to share with you and perhaps you will allow me the opportunity to do just that in your prosperous and peaceful future.

Mike Taylor

There is a reason you were led to this website that celebrates those who have accepted Jesus Christ as children of God. And there is a reason you decided to post here rather than quickly leaving the site when you saw that it was contrary to what you believe. You must be in a lot of pain to hate yourself and to express that in hurting yourself. Yes, it is certainly your choice to continue to live the way your are living, but I am here to tell you there is a better way to live. God promises this: “Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth (Jeremiah 33:6).” Your current way of living is not one of peace – instead one of fear and torment. God does not want you to live this way. He has given you a future and hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

When you are ready to take hold of a future in which you are healed of emotional pain and can look forward to a future of promise, then go here and read stories from people like you whose lives have been changed through the power of God through Jesus : http://www.ccci.org/how-to-know-god/my-story-a-life-changed/index.htm