How to Get Out of that Pit

Get out of that Pit

Remember: The pit is not your home. Discover 5 steps to get out.

Are you stuck in a rut or even worse – in a pit?

One of my favorite poems that describes what it’s like to fall into a pit is ‘An Autobiography in 5 Chapters by Portia Nelson.’

It’s short but packs a punch.

Once you read it, I know you’ll relate to it.

I did!

The poem is below:

Chapter 1

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.”

So, which Chapter are you living in right now?

Many people get stuck living out Chapters 2 or 3. They keep falling into the same old pits.

We all fall into pits in life at times. That is not the problem.

The problem is that we don’t get out!

Once we recognize we are in a pit, we are responsible for seeking the way out – and taking it.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if someone threw you into the pit (like Joseph in Genesis 37) or if you put yourself into the pit.

What matters is that make up your mind to get out, Why?

Because you don’t belong there.

Unfortunately, some try to make the pit their home. They believe the lie that they are meant to live in the pits. So they decide to settle and get comfortable.

But that is not the best God has for you.

God never intended for His people to live in dark pits:

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life (John 8:12).”

And in another place, He says:

“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:14-16).”

Our purpose as Believers in Christ is to serve as a light to others. So if one of us chooses to live in darkness, then the kingdom is a dim in that specific place, affecting those who reside near it.

So what are some steps to take to get out of a pit?

1. Never get comfortable in pits. As God’s child, your place is as a “city on a hill,” a place where His glory in you is clearly seen. You are not meant to live in a pit.

However, you will remain there unless you can see where you are meant to be. Put your mental focus on how to get out of the pit rather than how to get comfortable in it.

To get out, you must want to get out.

2. Ask for the Holy Spirit’s wisdom to get out. When you accepted Jesus as your Savior, the Holy Spirit came to live in you as a Helper (see John 14:26). He is the ultimate source of wisdom, strength, and power in a Believer’s life.

If you do not know how to get out of your particular pit, then ask Him.

Many times, the problem isn’t that we don’t know the answer for how to get out of the pit, it’s that we don’t like the answer!

So we don’t do what He says because we don’t like it.

However, freedom is on the other side of the answer and that fact won’t change.

3. Identify mental resistance to getting out. I read a story once about a man who negotiated freedom for 2 women caught up in prostitution. He paid the price for their freedom.

Yet when it was time to go, one of the women ran back into the place of her bondage because she forgot her cell phone!

She refused to leave unless she had it. Many refuse to leave the pit because they have been deceived into thinking the pit has something they need to live.

If you are resisting getting out of the pit, then ask the Lord to show you the source of your resistance so you can deal with it.

4. Take the first step out. Once the way out is revealed, fear or overwhelm may try to convince you that it is safer to stay in the pit.

Once again, remind yourself that the pit is not your home. Some people may not leave the pit unless they can see the entire path out first.

However, you don’t need to see the entire path to get moving; You just need to be faithful, stand up, and take the first step you do see.

Once you stand up, you can see more than you could just sitting there.

5. Get assistance from someone who has found the way outIn our culture, we celebrate an independent, “go it alone,” “I did it my way” attitude.

But that is not God’s way.

God’s way is that we live in interdependence with other Believers.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” We have a support group in the Take Back Your Temple program because we recognize that we all fall sometimes.

To make progress, we need others who can encourage us and assist us in getting back up.

Remember this freeing mindset: “This pit is not my home.” Refuse to make living in pits, your normal way of life. Take the place that God has prepared for you:

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; (1 Peter 2:9)”

Get out of that pit and proclaim His praise!

By the way, please share in the article comments about which “chapter” from the poem you are in right now. I’d love to hear about it.

Be blessed with health, healing, and wholeness,

Kimberly Taylor
Creator of the ‘Take Back Your Temple’ Program

P.S. If you are tired of trying diet after diet, losing the weight, but gaining it all back then the Take Back Your Temple program is your solution.

You strengthen your faith and lose the weight.

Diets can give you information about how to eat but they can’t give you the wisdom nor power to destroy the mental strongholds that are holding you back.

Click the link below to learn more:

Take Back Your Temple program

  • Rosaira Mendez says:

    Sister…more than a motivator for us to take back our temple God uses you to preach. Thank you for your submition to our father and encouraging us. I have decided today i will start loosing 100 lbs. Im 5 one and weigjt 221lbs…I know i will take back my temple in Jesus name. Amen

  • Cindy says:

    This was fantastic. Your words are always encouraging and illuminating, but today you shine a light on a dark place in my spirit. Definitely God-inspired, and what I needed. You are doing a good work. Praying for us both today, as I determine to get out of my pit, and for God to bless you in your good work. Thank you.

  • Kim says:

    Right on time. This article was the medicine my battered soul & spirit needed today. Bless you sister.

  • Leah says:

    Yes! So glad I saved this email and went back to read it.

  • Wanda DeRouen says:

    Thanks, Kimberly for your encouragement for the journey! I have been in a pit for a very long time, due to some circumstances and happenings in my life that led me to believe I was destined to stay there, that this was my destination. I know God has a plan for my life and I am trying to find my way out. I’ve been through so much and I am 60 years old hoping in faith that all I went through was for something better. I have to believe in that. My past has made me waste a lot of my future by dwelling on it, I know it’s over and done and can’t change anything but it is constantly on my mind and I cry everyday, about what could of been or should I have done things differently. I emotionally overate and food was my comfort. I weigh approximately 220 lbs. I have lost a few pounds as a while back weighed in at 245. I wish I could join TBYT but not in a financial state, but I read your emails and want to say besides my little sister you have given me the most encouragement that I have ever received in my life even though we never met. I’ve been through rape, incest, molestation, divorce, raising three kids after their dad left me for my sister, thought I found love and stayed with a man who cheated on me for 28 years because I thought that I didn’t deserve better, my ex and he has both passed away but it didn’t ease the pain any less, the latter only died 1&1/2 years ago and now loneliness has set in. I really need to get close to God again but I feel he’s so far from me that I can’t hear him because of the things I’ve done in my life. I’m trying to find my way back to him so my life can be better and thank you again your emails bring light unto an otherwise dark place. Your encouragement means a lot to many people. God bless you for your wisdom and kindness to help other people.

    • T. H. says:

      God loves you and He is NOT mad at you nor NOT speaking to you. He does not do the silent treatment…humans do. God is not a man that He should lie…His sheep know His voice & another’s they will not hear. So I decree and declare that you will begin to hear what He has to say for you to you and He will begin to do things through you. Be encouraged my sister, I’ve gone through a lot of some of those things that you mentioned and done some pretty awful things in my life too; however, John 17:23 says that God loves us just as much as he loves Jesus! I need you to recognize that and receive it. I was led to write you even though this post is almost 2 years old; it is my prayer that it will somehow find a way to you Wanda. You are the apple of Jesus’s eye!

    • Stella Nobles says:

      Dear Wanda, I have read your story and have been through everything you talked about except having kids with my ex.
      I’ve learned through Christ Jesus, that he says we are to “praise God” in ALL circumstances…
      bad or good.! We are used by God to be a witness to other women who are going through similar circumstances and can’t get out of that PIT.
      I am here to let you know that if you are a child of the King, God does not see your sins when he looks at you through his Son. He only sees you as pure white and holy, saved by Jesus’s blood. We received our place to the right hand of Christ when we accepted Jesus into our heart, with repentance of our sins.
      Remember that Jesus NEVER leaves us or forsakes us, WE leave Him! He’s still there with outstretched hands waiting for you to COME! Go to him TODAY!
      A Friend in Jesus, Stella

  • Wanda Phillips says:

    Struggling to come out of the pit. Only one time did I try an online weight loss program. Since your program offers prayer and sharing on Facebook that would be an added blessing. The price is great, need to pray about truly committing and paying the fee. Thank you for your encouragement.

    • Mary Joy says:

      Hello Wanda
      I am sooo sorry for all the trials and hurts you have gone through. You said, you wanted to come back to the Lord.
      I can tell you He is there waiting for you. I can identify with some of the pain you have gone through. We can not dwell on the past. We are never too old. I believe God has an awesome plan for your life. You are not alone.
      You have Kimberly and I all of us as sisters in Christ. Jesus! is waiting to welcome you with open arms and loves you more than any human being could.

  • DeHonee says:

    Today was a day of carbs…..which I’ve been intentionally staying away from! But instead of giving up and making tomorrow Day 2 or this whole weekend which turns into a week and a down spiral from there…..I’ve decided that tomorrow is a new day and if God decides to bless me with it I’m choosing another street!
    I normally wallow in mistakes but I’m encouraged to push and keep progressing! I’ve come far so I shall keep going by the grace and the power of God! This race is not finished and I’m on an upward spiral instead of the opposite! I shall be a positive influence to others and accomplish the will of God! I’m excited that the cycle of over a decade does not have to continue to consume me! Like everybody else said…..this article was on time!! Thank You Jesus!

  • Darcy says:

    May 2018 I am in Chapter 3. But I want to get out. I have had the lying thoughts: You are not meant to be thin. God wants you to be fat. I didn’t start out this way. When I was a young child I was slim. So it isn’t God who put me here. It is me. I like to eat all the time. I use food as a pacifier for loneliness and fear and anxiety. I need help from the Holy Spirit to get out of this hole that I am in. Thank you for writing this.

    • Kimberly Taylor says:

      You are welcome, Darcy – it takes time and effort to renew your mind to God’s word, but such freedom awaits you when you do!

    • Elle says:

      Darcy,
      I had to write to you because as I read your comment I literally had to read the name to see if I had posted without realizing it. Your comment is me. I was a thin child and even teenager/young adult. I grew up in an environment where “thin was in” and have struggled with my natural curves/not appreciating/or understanding my body. Just this morning I asked God if perhaps I am supposed to remain this size (I have gained nearly 100lbs over the past 10+ years, currently 219.8 at 5’7″ this morning) but I had to silence that lying thought as eating to sustain this weight could not be of God. I have yo-yo’d for nearly 20 years. I have isolated myself due to the shame of my appearance, meaning I am not experiencing life the way God intended for me to. For years I have dictated to God what my “goal weight” is. While I still have an objective, I have asked God to lead me to the weight that He intended/intends for me to be and to show me how to sustain said weight. Neither my physical body nor my spirit can take the toll of yo-yo’ing. I want to live and no longer meremly exist. I want to see that pit and turn right down the other street. I want that street to be condemned in my mind. Like a choose your own adventure, I need another ending
      I have no idea what the future holds, but I know WHO holds the future, and it is is GOD alone.

  • Jelvon Doran says:

    I’m somewhere between chapters three and four, I believe.

  • S says:

    I’m lost somewhere in chapter 3. It makes no sense. By the grace of God I lost 170-180 lbs …. then over a year I’ve gained 28 lbs back. Maybe true freedom only comes in heaven ….

    • Kimberly Taylor says:

      S – praise God for the over 140 pounds you have kept off. That is amazing! With His help, you can get the others back, one day at a time.

  • Elizabeth Ogorek says:

    I am so so grateful to have found your website and emails. Thank you for your encouraging truth in Jesus to seek the freedom he offers. I believe I am in Chapter 4.

  • Bob says:

    I’m at the end of chapter 3 heading into Chapter 4

  • Angelique Robinson says:

    Depending on the situation I’m either between pit 3 and 4 or 4 and 5. It’s my resistance (step 3) that needs work. Loved this article. Thank you.

  • Sandra Holifield says:

    I have just got out of a pit. I stayed way too long. I finally realized what God wanted me to do. I took the first step and now I wait for him to direct me where I go from here. PTL.

  • Judy says:

    I have a question: now that you’re slim & free, do you eat sweets at all anymore?

    • Kimberly Taylor says:

      Hi Judy – yes, I do! I don’t bring them home anymore, but if I have to go to an event and they are serving dessert, then I have some and enjoy it. I’ve learned what my limits are and know that if I have a cake in the house, I will eat it. Not a matter of willpower, but I just know a lot of sugar hijacks my brain. So choose not to go there. Got better things to do with my life than engaging in food fights 🙂

  • Heather says:

    I am in Chapter 3 except I haven’t got out of the pit immediately. I know it is me, I know it is habit and I know I need to get out quick or I will put more weight back on. From Aug to Dec of last year I lost 50 lbs. From Jan to now of this year I have put approx 10 back on I fight for a couple days and bring it down a few pounds and then I slip and put that back on. I am struggling to gain the motivation and momentum back and I see myself slipping backwards into those destructive thoughts and habits. I am discouraged, annoyed with myself and fearful. I have approx 90-100 more I should lose. No where close to my goal but was doing OK. Let Christmas and holidays and work exhaustion be an excuse for awhile but now have no excuse. I know it is a battle in my mind but I am so scared I am going to lose the battle again and repeat the cycle that I have put myself through for the past 25 years. Of lose, gain and gain even more than previous highest weight. Help!!

    • Kimberly Taylor says:

      Hi Heather,

      This article may help: Recovering from Weight Loss Setbacks

      And this one: Making Straight Paths for your Feet

      Never forget – this is a JOURNEY. You are going to go through ups and downs, twists and turns. It is part of life. I’ve found the best way to manage this is to keep the things you want to do, close to you. Keep the things you don’t want to do, far away from you!

      Ask the Lord for His wisdom and strength to do what you know must be done. God bless you!

  • Hollie says:

    4. Someday it will be 5.

  • Danielle says:

    Thank you! This was just what I needed to read today to find hope. I am stuck in Chapter 2 and shift into 3 I know it’s my fault, but I am not doing all I can to get out of the pit.

    • Kimberly Taylor says:

      No worries, Danielle! Now that you know, you can start a new chapter for yourself with God’s help!

  • Sharie says:

    I love that poem! On any given day, I’m between chapters 3, 4, & almost 5. My will & anxiety throw me back to 3, but by the grace of God & the power in His word, I am more in 4 approaching 5! Thank you for your words of encouragement!

  • Elle says:

    Before I read any further, I am literally in chapter 2.5 (I am between chapters 2 and 3) but as soon as I read chapter 5 ? I cannot wait until I am in and stay rooted in chapter 5. It is all the difference from captivity to freedom.
    In Jesus’ name, I will get to chapter 5 and no longer revisit chapters 1 through 4.

  • Tracie says:

    Chapter 3. I just spent month at my daughter’s / road trip and I fell right back in to my old habits of overeating sugar. I’m not going to stay in the pit! Thank you for your encouragement!

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